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Keeping Up With The Kardashians: "Managing Mom"

Season 1 Episode 2
Airdate: October 21, 2007

Kardashians 102

Chihuahua Head is being prepped to participate in a fashion show. Her mom set this up for her because her mom is her manager, because you need to be a celebrity (or at least have talent in something) to have a professional manager.

The crowds show up for the fashion show. And by crowds, I mean some Japanese tourists who were taking pictures of the camera guy and and don't know what is going on. They were probably on their way to Yummy Japan because they are homesick. When I spend time in a foreign countries for more than a week, I like to go to a McDonalds at least once, so I assume people from other countries try to deal with homesickness the same way. If I was a Japanese tourist, I try to watch English dubs of Hamtaro to remind me of home. But then they would get pissed because only one-third of Hamtaro episodes have ever been shown in America, which makes even the biggest American Hamtaro fan no better than a casual Hamtaro viewer from Japan.

I love Hamtaro but I would be intimidated to discuss the cartoon with a Japanese person, because I never saw the episodes that are only available in Japan and show the hamsters fighting dragons or other bad guys. I am only familiar with the less intense episodes that center around Hamtaro and his Ham-Hams pals leaving their cages to play in the clubhouse. I know nothing of the Great Monsters the Ham-Hams fought during the season they were sent to the World of Monsters or where each Ham-Ham goes to form Mecha Hamtaro. Johnny once assured me not to worry, because the Japanese would understand we do know as much about the show as they do, though they would mock you behind your back if you are a boy, or pull up your skirt and take pictures if you were a girl.

Kardashians 102

This isn't much of a fashion show either. The models wear sexy Halloween costumes and thongs. Chihuahua Head can't believe that she was booked for a show that she feels is so far beneath her. I can't believe Chihuahua Head thinks she can do any better.

Kardashians 102

Next, Failure As A Mother double books Chihuahua Head so she has an audition for Girls Gone Wild: The Movie and a photoshoot for Skanks magazine on the same day! But Chihuahua Head has to go to the doctor first.

Chihuahua Head decides enough is enough! She wants to seek out a professional manager and sets up meetings behind her mother's back. I always assumed Hollywood agents wore expensive suits and had slicked back hair and talked a big game. The people Chihuahua Head talks to wear Hawaiian shirts and khaki shorts. One potential manager asks Chihuahua Head where she plans to be in five years. "I dunno," she says. "Prolly still living at home with my mom. Or on my own and lying in a gutter after being raped to death. Being on my own is scary like that."

Kardashians 102

Failure As A Mother is mad to learn about this and walks out of the clothing store she and her daughters own. If that store ever got any business, the other girls might be in trouble.

Chihuahua Head and Failure As A Mother come to terms later on. Chihuahua Head realizes that she is not going to land a real manager and can't use a phone by herself, and Failure As A Mother realizes she has nothing else to do all day because she makes her husband do all the housework.

Kardashians 102

Meanwhile, the step-dad to the Kardashian sisters has to do all the chores and babysit little Baby Slut 95 and Baby Slut 98 all day because he is Pervy Bitch Dad. Pervy Bitch Dad has to watch the kids all day because Failure As A Mother is busy running her clothing store that has no customers and managing the career of her daughter who also does nothing all day.

They agree to seek the services of a nanny to look after their two pre-teen daughters. But this nanny is nuts! She walks around in a bikini. Failure As A Mother and Pervy Bitch Dad decide they have to fire her because she is way overdressed to be working in the Kardashian home.